FH Summary: This post emphasizes the importance of cultivating gratitude as a core First Habit in a child’s life. It explains how gratitude goes beyond mere thankfulness and can shape an upward spiral in a child’s emotional well-being. The post offers practical methods supported by research, such as leading by example, encouraging a gratitude journal, having gratitude discussions at dinner, and using books and stories to teach gratitude.
Hello there, conscious parent! We at First Habits believe wholeheartedly in the transformative power of positive, intentional habit-building for children. Today, we’re focusing on a practice that, if fostered early, could serve as a core pillar of your child’s emotional wellbeing: the practice of gratitude.
A growing body of research, from developmental psychology to neuroscience, advocates for the introduction of gratitude practices into a child’s routine. But why? And how? Let’s dive in.
The Underestimated Power of Gratitude
Gratitude is much more than just saying “thank you”. It’s an attitude, a mindset that acknowledges the good in life and links us to others and the world around us. It’s a crucial habit that can shape an upward spiral in your child’s life.
“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others,” wrote the Roman philosopher Cicero. Now, millennia later, modern science corroborates this view.
According to research from the Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley, grateful youth are “happier and more satisfied with their lives, friends, family, neighborhood, and selves. They also report more hope, engagement with their hobbies, higher GPAs, and less envy, depression, and materialism.” Now doesn’t that sound like an amazing combo and something we would all want for our children!?!
Creating an Upward Spiral
Habits, as we know, can either set us soaring or send us spiraling down. By instilling the habit of gratitude, you’re providing your child with the momentum for an upward spiral. As they cultivate gratitude, their lens of life becomes more optimistic, their resilience against stress strengthens, and their ability to connect deeply with others improves. They may also see and appreciate their own positive habits a little more which can further reinforce and strengthen the upward spiral.
In essence, gratitude paves the way for the overall growth and development of your child. It’s an investment with lasting returns – not only for them but for their wider circle of influence as they carry these positive vibes into their relationships and communities.
Beyond the “Thank You”
So, how can you teach your child to go beyond the perfunctory “thank you” to a sincere, heart-felt gratitude practice? Here are some research-backed methods you can try:
- Lead by Example – Gratitude starts at home. Your kids observe and mirror your behaviors more than you might think. Regularly express your gratitude aloud, for both big and small things. This will signal to your child that gratitude isn’t reserved for grand gestures; it’s an everyday practice.
- Encourage a Gratitude Journal – A gratitude journal can be a fun and effective way to instill the habit of thankfulness. Encourage your child to jot down or draw about three things they’re grateful for each day. Research suggests that journaling amplifies the benefits of the gratitude practice, as the act of writing enhances the cognitive processing involved1,2,3 have also shown that the single easiest way for people to be happier in their life is to jot down a small number of things that they are grateful for first thing in the morning. This starts them out on the right foot for the rest of the day and takes their mind off some of the more strenuous and negative feelings that might be looming in the background.
- Gratitude Discussions at Dinner – Make gratitude a family affair. Start a tradition of sharing one thing each family member is grateful for during dinner. This not only fosters gratitude but also strengthens family bonds.
- Use Books and Stories – Stories are a powerful tool to impart values to children. Include books in your child’s library that illustrate the virtue of gratitude. Discuss these stories and relate them to real-life situations. Talk through why being grateful for the positive things in your life is much better than focusing on the negative aspects that you might be dealing with.
To quote the words of author Brené Brown, “I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness—it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude.” Imagine if we could instill this realization in our children from a young age. What a wonderful world they would create!
Gratitude: A Story from the Heart
We know a real-life story always helps bring these ideas to life, and we have a wonderful one to share. It’s about a little girl named Lucy. When Lucy was about seven, her family faced some tough times. Her parents were struggling financially, and the stress was palpable.
During this time, Lucy’s mom stumbled upon the concept of a gratitude practice on our First Habits website. Intrigued, she decided to try it out with her family. Every night, despite their worries, they would each share something they were grateful for.
Lucy started off with simple things like her toys or her favorite TV show. But as weeks passed, she began expressing gratitude for her loving parents, her cozy bed, the delicious meals her mom cooked. Even on days when the family’s troubles seemed insurmountable, they found something to be thankful for.
This routine didn’t magically erase their problems. But it shifted their focus, their perspective. They found joy in their togetherness, in the little things. Today, Lucy is a thriving teenager who acknowledges that the practice of gratitude kept her grounded and optimistic during those tough times. She continues to practice gratitude, ensuring an upward spiral in her life. Lucy’s gratitude practice became a key First Habit and built her resiliency to march on through the tough times in life.
Investing in Gratitude: A Worthwhile Endeavor
In the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.”
Gratitude, like any other habit, takes time and persistence to cultivate. But remember, you’re investing in your child’s lifelong emotional, social, and cognitive health. As you embark on this rewarding journey, remember, the First Habits team is here to support you. Visit our website for more resources on fostering positive habits in children, and sign up for our weekly newsletter for ongoing guidance. After all, your children’s development is our shared priority.
Let’s turn the tide from negativity to positivity, from scarcity to abundance, from isolation to connection. Let’s help our children build an upward spiral with the power of gratitude. Together, we can make a difference in their lives and, in turn, the world. And isn’t that something to be grateful for?
1 Counting Blessings Versus Burdens: An Experimental Investigation of Gratitude and Subjective Well-Being in Daily Life” by Emmons & McCullough, 2003: This study found that participants who kept a daily gratitude journal reported higher levels of positive states of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, attentiveness, and energy compared to participants who focused on hassles or neutral life events.
2 The role of gratitude in the development of social support, stress, and depression: Two longitudinal studies” by Wood, Maltby, Gillett, Linley, & Joseph, 2008: This study demonstrated a connection between gratitude and well-being, suggesting that practicing gratitude may help individuals handle stress better and feel less depressed over time.
3 A Grateful Heart is a Healthier Heart: Gratitude Journaling for Well-being and Cardiovascular Health” by Jackowska, Brown, Ronaldson, & Steptoe, 2016: This study, although more focused on physical health, found that individuals who wrote in a gratitude journal had better heart health, which indirectly contributed to a sense of well-being.
